There was an abnormal level of froth on the ground this morning. The crew of 8 had high expectations for the 1st Annual Tuk-tuk Fiesta and the fiesta directors were not about to dissappoint. Taylor, Victoria and I had secured 3 tuk-tuks for half the day, purchased nearly 4 litres of Bacardi, a tour hammock and a basic map outlining all the bars and landmarks we were to hit.
The 1st Annual Tuk-Tuk Fiesta was a combination of a Mario Cart style race, a bar crawl, a village tour around Antigua, an urban hammock challenge and a surprise birthday party. The fiesta began in the Black Cat where all participants took a complimentary shot of tequila, pick up their tour maps, 3.5 litres vessels (containing Bacardi, coke & lime) and have a team meeting before things got underway/ out of hand. Each team had 3 balloons and one pinata filled with candy that must be secured to their tuk-tuk. Similar to a Mario Cart battle, rival teams must pop all 3 balloons before they were allowed to annihilate the pinata. This meant that at each bar, balloons and pinatas must be protected at all times.
After a lap around Antigua, first stop was Riley’s Irish bar where local bartending legend Allan assured us an impressive combination of Irish Whiskey and Irish bar tunes. Sure enough we arrived to a bar lined with whiskey and a devilish smile on Allan’s face. Riley’s bar was also where the celebrity birthday was drawn- all names went into a hat, the first name drawn name was awarded with the ‘birthday’ for the day. First name out was Plugga who was extactic to realise that within a couple of hours he was to receive a bounty of presents from the market, care of the tour participants. After finishing a bottle of complimentary whiskey, playing 30 shots in 30 minutes of cerveza and a bit of urban hammocking, it was time to push onto the maze of a market to locate the dingy little locals bar we found the day before.
With another lap around Antigua and a few more balloons breaking, our tuk-tuks parked at the local markets. Before making it to the bar, each participant was to buy Plugga some sort of ‘gift’ and bring it along. Finding the bar again was a mission - not only were we lost in the maze of the market, but with a substantial amount of whiskey taking residence in our stomachs, it was like the blind leading the mentally challenged. Eventually everyone found the place and we got down to business. Each participant was given a 1 litre beer and both hands were duct taped to the bottle. No-one could do anything until the beer was finished - that meant no toilet and limited protection of balloons/ pinatas. Only thing that was a little sketchy was that there was 8 of us sitting in a dim lit, locals bar in some back alley of the market - completely helpless until we finished the beer. All the more reason to drink faster.
Somewhere in the next hour Plugga was showered with gifts ranging from super stiff hair gell to a potato named Eric. Victoria’s gift of a dog collar and leash seemed as much a present for her as a present for Plugga - she proceeded to dominate him, leading the birthday boy around the market by a leash. Eventually making it back to the tuk-tuks, someone had the brilliant idea to deviate from the course, drink at the tattoo studio and get nose rings. Pretty sure it was the Dominator.
A third lap around Antigua had us at the local tattooist’s. Even though their were customers waiting ahead of us for some body art, the girls used their ‘charm’ and got the owner to puncture 6 noses on the spot. There were tears, clenched fists, a bit of blood and more Barcardi, but eventually the 6 brave had some sort metal protruding from their nose. During this time, everyones guard was let down and ‘Patrick’ the starfish pinata was decapitated, and the game was over. So was the Tuk-Tuk Fiesta. With only half of the planned course completed, it was already 5pm and the tuk-tuk owners were getting pretty pissed that we were running overtime. Calling the end to the tour, we straightlined back to the Black Cat for what some would call an after party, others would call a cyclone of beers, tequila and B52’s. From this point on my memory didn’t fair too well, but most of the crew made it out, tearing apart a couple of the bars and clubs in Antigua. There were notable appearances from the Phantom Dancer, the Tequila Bantid and a Julia Gillard impersonator.
The next day dead bodies slowly emerged and met in the Black Cat cafe area. Sharing war stories, and jogging my memory that in fact I was the Phantom Dancer and also the Phantom Mattress Thrower (snipering residents of the black cat with mattresses from the 2nd story) the first beers were ordered by 10am. Led by Taylor the Prophet, beers and tequila flowed again like water throughout the day and like that, it was dark again and we were loose, again.
Taking a rest from going out, a few of us had a craving for cerviche and made our way to this little restaurant around the corner. No joke the sign on the door said “Open 5.30pm-6.30pm” but with no trouble at all, the little Mexican lady opened the restaurant just for us. Maybe it had something to do with the Flava-flav style watch I had handing from my neck - a souvenir from the past couple of days. The food was huge and so fresh - the lady goes to the coast 4 times a week to get fresh fish, the margaritas were epico and the top shelf tequila was a welcomed change. Full and content, we went home to hibernate.
